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尋找“小確幸”

村上春樹的隨筆《???????島?午後》,其中有一篇叫“小確幸”,小確幸的意思就是“微小而確定的幸福”。村上說他自己選購內褲,把洗滌過的潔淨內褲卷摺好然後整齊的放在抽屜中,就是一種微小而確定的幸福。很羡慕生活中有這樣唾手可得的小幸福。村上的小確幸,讓我回憶起曾將那些屬於我的微小而確定的幸福。
  
  喜歡在陽光灑滿的午後(重慶不可多得的天氣),如懶貓一般睡足了,陽光透過舊舊的窗櫺,折射到床上,靜靜的依靠著床頭的圍欄,和對面床上睡眼惺忪的朋友有一搭沒一搭的聊著,不想說話了,就隨手拈起床頭的小書,閑閑的翻上幾頁。
  
  喜歡在一個人的清晨,美美的飽餐一頓,穿過校園裏晨練的老人,找一間教室或者是安靜的涼亭,認真地埋頭鑽研專業書,弄懂了一個“高深”的理論,興奮地手舞足蹈。
  
  喜歡在正餐後,給自己來一點額外的小加餐,和朋友溜達到樓下的小攤邊,熱熱火火地吃一小份土豆泥、玉米棒、一汆子魷魚片或是炸裏脊。
  
  喜歡週末的時候,和朋友閑閑地湧在人頭攢動的三峽廣場,淘到喜歡的東西,樂顛顛在夜幕降臨時滿心歡喜的滿載而歸。
  
  當畢業的鐘聲敲起,在異鄉那唯一屬於我的幾十平米的小屋裏哭到淚雨滂沱,我知道,這些屬於我的“小確幸”,隨著朋友的畢業,隨著我讀書生涯的結束,將永遠的只能停留在斑駁的記憶裏。
  
  參加工作,看著那一張張年輕的張揚的臉,曾經讓我激情澎湃,為他們的快樂而快樂,為他們的哀傷而哀傷。
  
  節假日裏收到學生祝福的短信,收到平安夜的平安果……收到學生們獲獎的消息,收到來自其他老師對我們學生的讚賞,收到……我的小確幸一點點的積攢起來,快樂充盈著我的整個的心房,悲傷的時候,拿出來我的“小確幸”,曬一曬,仔細的收回,覺得,我是上帝的寵兒,想要向全世界分享我的小幸福。
  
  只是,快樂不再,我的“小確幸”不在,猛然回頭,我竟然一件都找不到了,我的寶盒子哪里去了?我的“小確幸”呢?一天天的為我的前途、為我的生活、為我的工作擔憂著,快了一點點地離我遠去,曾經的“小確幸”再也滿足不了我日益貪婪的心,我的要求越來越多,我的欲望越來越多,不知道是我變了,還是現實讓我變得如此的不知滿足。很羡慕知足常樂得人,很想淡定,卻是再也找不回淡定的感覺。沒有了幸福的生活,就像乾巴巴的沙漠。而我,就像沙漠上乾渴的旅人,再也找不到心中的那片綠洲,找不到解渴的那壺水。
  
  尋找我的“小確幸。”

sour It is worth me

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